My Jesus Journey

I was ‘born’ into Christianity.

When I was a few days old, somebody carried me to church.

Another somebody mumbled some incantation or the other.

Then he asked me: Do you reject Satan?
I probably answered ‘Goooo’
Somebody answered for me ‘I do’.

And he asked me, a seven day-old baby, a lot of other strange questions as well.
To which Somebody answered ‘I do’

And then he sprinkled holy water over me.
And I probably howled in protest.
And he welcomed me into the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church
The communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
and to life everlasting.

I peed all over him.

The ‘sin of Adam’ was washed away,
And the ‘indelible mark’ of Christ was imprinted on my tiny,
wrinkled brow.

And through the years I came to know that Christianity meant

Sacrifice and pain.

Giving up sweets and nice things for the sake of sinners.
Feeling guilty about having too much of anything, including fun.

No meat of Fridays.

That the Devil was always peeking over your shoulder.
That there were venial sins [in thousands]
and mortal sins [in hundreds]
and unforgivable sins [seven of them]

and Ten Commandments from God
And ten times that by Holy Mother the Church.

And that God was just waiting to watch you slip up
And that the Devil couldn’t wait to see you in hell.

And the only way out
Was

Our fathers
Hail Mary’s
Rosaries
Holy Mass and Novenas

At fourteen, dozens , and then hundreds of questions
Began simmering in my brain…

Then began my Jesus Journey.

First, I discovered the Bible.

Then, I discovered Jesus Christ Superstar.

The latter was much more believable.

[to be continued under ‘My Jesus Journey]